Cafe Primrose

The First Weekly Barn Yard Crime Report

Posted on April 19, 2015

A proud lazy barn yard felon.

A proud lazy barn yard felon.

I am afraid I was caught unprepared today, for the latest in the saga of the Barn Yard crimes usually perpetrated by the goats, who have come to be known as “The Felons.” Because I was unprepared I can sadly offer no photo or video evidence so I will use an old photo. What I do have is,  2 eye witness reports from the scene of the crime, actually 3 eye witness reports if you count the dog. But sadly, “woof woof” is not testimony fit to present to the judge and jury.

The Felons, decided to go exploring during their visit to the extended yard today for their daily walk. Two of them, broke free from the group and headed through some light brush to trespass uninvited in the neighbor’s yard where the neighbors were performing the age old country tradition of burning leaves in the spring. The fire smelled wonderful.

The two trespassing Felons, then tried to bully the neighbors massive sweet, adorable, cowardly dog in addition to simply head butting each other. They seemed rather annoyed upon being apprehended and told they are bad goats, while being hauled back to their shed and their cute little yard. They continue to complain by the make shift fence protesting their innocence. But I don’t buy it for a moment being the one to cross the property line to get them and drag them home.

They are discussing starting a Go Fund Me page, to cover the cost of all the legal fees that they may find themselves racking up if anyone ever chooses to prosecute them for barn yard felonies… Otherwise, they say they will have to make a deal and pay their lawyer in second cut hay, should such a day ever come.

In other news, the chickens were found appearing to be drunk sleeping atop the roof that lifts open over their nesting box last night. Though they did not take a breathalizer, they sure did look drunk.

Other barn yard crimes this week include felony assault of Dr. Primrose, felony assault of me, Domestic battery goat style head bashing each other with their tails wagging…..

I am hoping this report becomes a weekly event. Would you all like that? Drop me a comment and let me know if you enjoy the barn yard crime report.

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