Cafe Primrose

The Barnyard Crime Report For The Week Of July 4th.

Posted on July 2, 2015

Public Urination

Public Urination

Some days I think of myself as an artist, other days I think of myself as an inn keeper, and some days I think of myself as a farmer. Then, there are the other days when I think of myself as a crime busting prison warden barn yard constable. Today would be one of those days. The Felons got loose again and they went on an incredible crime spree all over the 5 acre farm.

Prison Break!

Prison Break!

For those that don’t know, the Felons, are a group of very naughty goats with criminal tendencies. If they are awake, they are probably up to no good. One of their first crimes as shown in the first photo for this post, was public urination on the brick patio. They were apprehended and returned to prison, but unfortunately there was really no way to fix their escape route. So, 5 minutes later they were back out again to continue their crime wave.

They toppled the only authority that they recognize.

They toppled the only authority that they recognize.

After toppling the only authority they recognized they were on to the next crime. Trespassing.

Trespassing photo 1

Trespassing photo 1

Trespassing photo 2 in the herb garden that really needs weeding.

Trespassing photo 2 in the herb garden that really needs weeding.

The herb garden however was insufficient as a target for their criminal behavior. So, they moved on to the vegetable garden that also desperately needs weeding…..

Theft 1 in the vegie garden stealing the edible flowers.

Theft 1 in the vegie garden stealing the edible flowers.

Grand Theft 3 times the stealing.....

Grand Theft 3 times the stealing…..

And my goodness my garden looks horrible. I just want to point out I am not a gardener. I am miserable with plants last year nothing even came up. Though weedy this year is an improvement. Next year I will figure out how to have a more weed free garden. Each year I try to teach myself something new about gardening…. But, I can tell you these three felons, are not helping me any with the weeding.

Last But Not Least, the high crime of pruning the baby berry bushes.

Last But Not Least, the high crime of pruning the baby berry bushes.

They even criminally assaulted my baby berry bushes. That would have eventually produced blue berries…. Now who can say? In addition to all these crimes, our landscapers came to mow the lawn and you will never guess who made an attempt on their truck….. But if you think that that is all they managed to accomplish today, they have been terrorizing poor Heidi the barn cat and at this rate may find themselves shipped off to Gitmo if they are not careful. Well, that is all I have for this weeks crime report but, if you think things are under control now, think again. They are still out there. I really need a deputy sheriff because right now I am inside taking cover…. Later I will be the janitor and clean up after their little crime rampage. What a day…. We need to fix the fence!

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